MILKIN' QUICKIES (Vol 22)

Every time the mother robin returned to the nest her chicks chirped the same question, "Did  you bring something tweet?"

Are very elderly gooses called "geesers?"

Watching the VP debate last night I noticed a familiar face in the audience, a former vice president. I think I spotted Al.

Remember the TV character, "Dr. Killdeer?" If he got cold in the wintertime I'm sure he would want to wear a plover sweater.

The marketer of the Wonderbra™ has devised a model for flat chested women who want to look like they're concealing Wabash Cannon balls. They call it the "Roy A-Cup."

I dropped my keychain in the street and it slipped down into a storm drain. In dispair I said, "Oh, grate! I won't be able to get those back without committing sewercide."

When someone insults me I usually have a great comeback but I just keep it to myself. Does this make me mentally retorted?

"I'll pass judgement on this wine right after the trial," said Tom as he began to try another case.

I've been married to my old flame for 32 years. I guess that means we are a perfect match.

In some cultures  when you die they build your funeral pyres on a raft and set it out to sea. That's pretty cool but it's just a bit too flamebuoyant for me.

When hunters field dress their kill and cook it on an open flame, that's called the "match game."

My curly hair really snags badly when I try to groom myself so I usually use a brush. Otherwise my hair might burst into flames because it's so comb-bustable.

Two matches were in a race to see who could get the first strike." The winner proudly proclaimed, "Ha! I BTU!"

Gary Hallock