LEAVE WELL ENOUGH LEONA

Although she's not been a popular punch line for several years, everyone still knew and remembers the late Leona Helmsley as the cantankerous "Queen of Mean." Little wonder then that her death notice appeared on the "Ol' Bitch-uary Page" of the paper. 

Speaking of bitches with paper, did you hear that she's left 12 million bucks to her dog, "Trouble?" Ordinarily I wouldn't give a pug nickel for a Maltese, but in this dog-eat-dog world, you have to respect a dog with dough. Any mutt who is that well heeled should consider making some shrewd financial investments. Perhaps the dog could buy out Michael Vick's contract.

Gary Hallock