MILKIN' QUICKIES (Vol 29)

My cat kept shredding the fabric on my furniture so I had his cloth removed.

Mallcontents - People who are pissed off at how many teens are hanging out at their favorite shopping center.

Did you hear about the successful appliance manufacturer who became a refrigerator magnate?

Would adolescent Mongolian children be called Gobi Tweens?

Suffering though a case of swine flu is certainly no walk in the pork

When I can hardly wait to get to the shower. I'm hell bent for lather.

Insincere politicians never die, they just get more devoted.

Whenever a rough character came into the old west saloon and began cursive, one of the bar maids would run down the lower case and ask someone to sans serif right away. Seeing guys of that type setter in motion quickly.

I hate it when I have to drive behind an oenophile. They always getting into a bottle neck. They should drive in singlephile.

When homeowners are forced to replace their own shingles, that just makes it roofer on everyone.

If your spouse leaves dirty laundry all over the bedroom, you're probably going to have to pick up the slacks.

You have to learn that there are some fruits you just can't take for pomegranate. For instance in the citrus growing districts of China there's lots of political maneuvering going on. You can be sure there's also a good deal of gerrymandarin going on there. Then there are the prostitutes in the brothel located above the vegetable market. They know that it's a good idea not to disturb shoppers below. They have learned to kumquat.

Gary Hallock