MILKIN' QUICKIES (Vol 9)

Fresh out of law school, an ambitious young elf applied for a position on Santa's legal staff. During the job interview St. Nick asked, "Who was  your previous employer?" In reply, the diminutive attorney inquired of Santa, "Who was your previous imp lawyer?" 

Although many people think he's screwed up things pretty badly in the middle east, Donald Rumsfeld has never been wishy-washy about America's involvement in Iraq. Why do we still see him sitting on defense?

Sign on Congressman Mark Foley's desk: "YOUNG BUCKS, STOP HERE"

If you attempt to cure all your ills by drinking chilled champagne, I think that should qualify on your insurance plan as "fizzy cool therapy."

Gary Hallock