I RESEMBLE THOSE REMARX

Now and then when I'm working in the weeds behind my house I'll brush up against some poison ivy but it doesn't bother me too much unless I make full contact. Occasionally I'll do something more rash and blunder into a big bunch of it and end up feeling really stupid. Oddly, the days of endless scratching that follow, although annoying, tend to make me feel really good, especially when I take a hot shower. Scratching those welts is almost like a drug high. I guess it's true what Karl Marx said. "Really itchin' is the opiate of dumb asses."

Gary Hallock

BAD HEIR DAYS

Our wand'ring minstral son Andrew is home for about 6 weeks this
summer as he attempts to refresh himself financially for another
year at the music school at the Hague in the Netherlands. Living in
the absence of meddling parents for a full year, his inherently curly
hair grew to new lengths and kinks. Upon his arrival we were a bit
surprised the see him sporting this new "natural" look and began
teasing him immediately about the unruly nature of his "fluffy do."
We suggested that he should at least brush it out a bit to try and
make it look a bit more civilized but he insisted that it looks even
worse when he does. What a nuisance that must be! I guess it's true
what they say. A man's comb is his hassle!

Gary Hallock

FISCAL FITNESS WOAHS

Lots of rumors are lately flying about the future of a certain
celebrity couple. Brad & Angelina? No! I'm talking about Fannie and
Freddie. Is one of them about to go down? They still look good on
paper but I have to wonder if there's Ben Bernanke-pankie going on? Do
you think the nation will soon loose interest? If they should split,
who gets the houses?

Gary Hallock