Thursday, October 23, 2008


I've heard a rumor that many members of the underdog team in this year's
World Series have very quick Tampas and are prone to initiating bloody
scuffles on the field. I do hope all the World Series games will be
played at night so that the Phillies don't suffer from too much exposure
to the damaging ultra violent Rays.

Gary Hallock

Monday, October 13, 2008


Every time the mother robin returned to the nest her chicks chirped the same question, "Did  you bring something tweet?"

Are very elderly gooses called "geesers?"

Watching the VP debate last night I noticed a familiar face in the audience, a former vice president. I think I spotted Al.

Remember the TV character, "Dr. Killdeer?" If he got cold in the wintertime I'm sure he would want to wear a plover sweater.

The marketer of the Wonderbraâ„¢ has devised a model for flat chested women who want to look like they're concealing Wabash Cannon balls. They call it the "Roy A-Cup."

I dropped my keychain in the street and it slipped down into a storm drain. In dispair I said, "Oh, grate! I won't be able to get those back without committing sewercide."

When someone insults me I usually have a great comeback but I just keep it to myself. Does this make me mentally retorted?

"I'll pass judgement on this wine right after the trial," said Tom as he began to try another case.

I've been married to my old flame for 32 years. I guess that means we are a perfect match.

In some cultures  when you die they build your funeral pyres on a raft and set it out to sea. That's pretty cool but it's just a bit too flamebuoyant for me.

When hunters field dress their kill and cook it on an open flame, that's called the "match game."

My curly hair really snags badly when I try to groom myself so I usually use a brush. Otherwise my hair might burst into flames because it's so comb-bustable.

Two matches were in a race to see who could get the first strike." The winner proudly proclaimed, "Ha! I BTU!"

Gary Hallock


Q: Why doesn't John Fogerty ever fly first class?
A: He's always singing "Put me in coach."

Q: What character from Hamlet was good at taunting hens into producing eggs?
A: Layer tease.

Q: Does the New Testament have an index?
A: Yes, Christians have a cross reverence for every word in it.

Q: What happened when the tower of Bagel fell down?
A: It creamed Jesus

Q: Why is the "good book" so easy to procure?
A: It's buyable

If the new testament and the old testament is available in a single volume I guess you could say it's wholly buyable.

Gary Hallock

Wednesday, October 01, 2008


With the economy in free-fall, it's starting to look like Warren 
Buffet is the only guy left on the planet rich enough to bail us all 
out. What else is he going to do with those sacks of gold, man?

Gary Hallock