DOG DAZE

In this hot weather you need to make sure your dog stays cool. You don't want him to get caught with his pants down.

No wonder the dog pants. He's always wearing a coat.

Hot weather may make your bitch retriever look awfully bad too. It's hard to be fetching when you're in heat.

The dog star is named what? You can't be Sirius! Lassie and Rin-tin-tin were both bigger stars.

Q: - What late night talk show host raises dogs? 

A: - David Litter-man

Gary Hallock

ON THE RODE AGAIN

On vacation last year I drove on the longest and most expensive turnpike ever built, so I was tolled. I'll try not to get tripped up this year on the road. Maybe I'll just take a vacation in my head and experience some peace of mind. A head trip? That'll be a wheel different experience for me. I hope I can manage to stay on the new roll pathways.

BIBLE RE-VERSE

Luke 4:23 - Gnomes with cracked femurs should refrain from imbibing 
carbonated beverages. - "Fizzy shun heal thighs, Elf"

Gary Hallock

PRESIDENTIAL SWAT TEAM

"I got the sucker!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORZ00OyKp0I

Now that the White House has been declared a "No Fly Zone" I'm 
thinking there will be far fewer folks wishing they could be that "fly 
on the wall" during Obama's meetings & interviews.

I'm just glad the Secret Service didn't need to call in a SWAT team to 
conduct a RAID.

"I got the sucker!" he says

On swatting the fly. Too bad Prez

Can't swat down Bin Laden

Because he's forgotten

In which cave the sucker now is

Gary Hallock

RENTAL TELEPATHY

It has been whispered that your new tenant enjoys cold potato soup. Please tell me this is just a vichyssoise roomer!

Gary Hallock

LIFE IS ADJUSTABLE EASY CHAIRS

After my boss traded in his desk chair for a La-Z-Boy, he then became addicted to playing "Guitar Hero" all day. Personally I think he's office rocker.

Gary Hallock

KINDER GARDENING

Toddlers will always love to help you water your flower garden. After all, most have lots of experience at wetting their pansies in the bed.

MOTEL RE-BATES

I'm not a psychiatrist but I'm fairly certain that the problems which haunted Norman Bates were relatively psycho in some attic.

Gary Hallock

FRAME OF MINE

In these times of financial uncertainty it seems the safest investment is probably art. I think I'm going to put my Monet under my Matisse.

Gary Hallock

STAY-CAJUN

Instead of taking the bass boat to the lake this summer, I've been forced to downsize some. My "stay-cation?" Micro-fishing at the library.

Gary Hallock

WATER BORED

Should Catholics who insist on sprinkling holy water over their broken leg bones be considered "blessed femurs?"

WEAR THE RUBBER MELTS THE ROAD

I was recently outraged when I heard about a plan to recycle old car
tires by grinding them up and mixing them into asphalt for making new
roadways. What's wrong with this plan? This is clearly case of highway
rubbery.

Gary Hallock