CADDY LACK ARREST

When I went to trade in my old vehicle at the dealership I got quite
a shock to realize it was worth only 50% to 75% of what I thought it
would be. In fact the news struck me so hard I suspected I was having
a heart attack but it turned out to be merely a case of "my ol' car
dealin' fraction."

(Lest anyone leap to a conclusion, I should note here that the above
story is totally apocryphal. If you want to know the truth, I'll de-
fib ya later.)

Gary Hallock

MILKIN' QUICKIES (Vol 18)

A local organization is collecting funds to buy bandages with inspirational quotes printed on them. I'm not certain what the name of the charity is but I'm sure the money goes for a wordy gauze. 

Did you hear about the strange priest who was discovered to be dressing as a nun? He admitted he was a transistor and he just couldn't shake the habit.

Only when welders are put in charge of everything will we experience a "Braised New World." (Ironic, ain't it?)

I heard Porky Pig has begun a new career doing stand up comedy and the audience is really enjoying his bacon bits. Of course he's a bit of a ham but that can be cured.

I had to fire my personal trainer because I just wasn't working out.

Gary Hallock